Be Still. Be Free. Be Content.

I’ve been known to want to come save the day when I see others struggle. Although in my professional life, as a Personal Concierge, this can be lucrative, extremely helpful to my clients and satisfying to myself, it has, at times, been harmful in my personal life. Over the past few years I have been working hard at bringing myself (or my feelings) online. It had not even occurred to me to do so before a special person brought it to my awareness. I’ll admit it still makes me feel uneasy and I’m trying to accept it.

As an empath, I wear everyone’s emotions on my sleeve and I’m particularly sensitive to the feelings of those close to me. A few weeks ago I had a breakthrough that I want to name out loud. Someone whom has had great influence on me is having a significant life challenge. After a discussion I was walking out the door, and I looked at her and said, “I’m aware you’re struggling, I really care, and it’s not my problem to fix.”

I believe naming this to her may have been the most profound statement I’ve ever spoken and it felt absolutely amazing. It brought “me” online – I had never really done that.

What is my takeaway? Self love and self compassion are not selfish. Instead both give us the ability to hold supportive space for others by letting them know we care, that we love them, and it allows us to not lose site of the importance of the relationship with ourselves. And the better the relationship with ourselves, the better our capacity to heal the world.

It is important for me to remember that she, along with everyone, is not a problem to be fixed – and to remember that simply holding supportive space for her to have the experience or emotion is the most helpful thing I can do.